A name is what you make it.

Since there is a big gap between my first post and this post it can mean a few things. Actually it really just means one, I don't have the balls to do this. I want to write all the time on a blog like I was Perez Hilton. But I'm not that.. dedicated to telling everyone my thoughts.

And that has been my problem. It has been my problem with my relationships, with my work with my school with my family. With everyone I've ever met I've always felt I had to hide away what I think because I'm afraid what people are going to say. 

I'm simply afraid. And I need to stop it. I'm smart enough to know that my fright is only going to stop me. I don't mean to go off into "Dr.Phil" land. But this is it. I can't hide from the fact that when people ask me, "Oh why didn't you actually go through with these things you want to do?" My only reply is, well "I don't know." which really translates to "I"M FREAKING AFRAID"

So this blog should also serve as a way to break free of that and to illustrate the massive moves I'm going  to make. Because f**k it, I'm sick of answering "I don't know."

I'm terrified. Absolutely terrified. But I have an idea. Or rather the idea came to me. When I sleep I dream, and when I dream I create stories. And the is one dream I had. I was running away from my life. I tend to have these dreams a lot so, nothing alarming yet. But I stopped to meet someone who I've only known through a blog at work. I ran up to him at Grand Central Station in New York City and attempting to talk to him in Dutch. He knows the language, and I'm learning it. But there is a sense of urgency, I had to leave but left him with a card that said 'Lost souls never die'
 I found two more people I know in different parts of the United States and left them with the same card.
Lost souls never die. 


When I awoke my first thought was "Where did I hear this from?"

I got several hits from Lost souls... and never die but not together. No movie, no song. No myspace page nor any book I could find had this title.

I'm conflicted and terrified. I am a writer and I've been told this is what we all go through. It's of little comfort. I can't figure out how to take the stories that crawl through my brain and bring them to life without me losing my mind.

I guess this blog will be the platform for which I either bring my stories to life or killing them.